Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Goodbyes and New Beginnings

I am on the train, down from the North all the way to London. It spans almost the entire country, passing different landscapes, cities and towns. I've taken the route many times before but every time I go, my heart is in awe of the beauty along the way. The train ride is special - in all kinds of ways. This time it is special for the fact that I won't return back North for at least another two months. The university year is over. Summer is here - and we all leave.

As I sit here, taking in the all-too-familiar surrounding, I find myself thinking about this bizarr little university town I am leaving behind for summer. I am reminded of all the experiences this past year holds; how it became my home, how I grew personally, emotionally, spiritually, how I loved, how I hurt, how I came a step closer to discovering who I am and who God wants me to be. I feel like I am running out of time, though - running ot of time to make the most of these experiences, to drain them until the very last lesson is learned from them, the last piece of information is recycled.

The busyness of the past weeks has demanded all my strength; I am leaving the UK tomorrow to spend my summer in East Africa - and there is no time to just sit and reflect. No time to remember and cherish the good times, no time to evaluate the lessons learned, no time to allow for the pain and hurt to surface and go away, no time to mourn the goodbyes - there is just no time to process everything. Instead a batch of new and remarkable experiences will bury the old ones.

It makes me wonder if this is the price we pay for being part of an experience driven society, dictated by facebook and twitter. The idea of making the most out of our life is burdened by the strife to constantly seek experiences no one has ever had before and the pressure of defining who we are by what we do.
I am looking forward to go to Africa. Maybe this is where I will find peace and quietness to reflect, where I will be humbled, where I will find yet another puzzle piece of my identity. I have the hope that it will be.